I called my wife on my first day in the Bellagio and told her that outside my window, I could see a billboard filled with half-naked people. "Oh, really?" she said in her wifely way, which implied "Keep your eyes to yourself." Then, I revealed that the billboard is advertising the Chippendale's Dancers--my view is of a bunch of topless dudes. She laughed a lot. I just rolled my eyes, closed my blinds, and watched the tube.
Today, though, I was cavorting with showgirls, and I have the picture to prove it. Perhaps, dear friends and readers, we ought to keep this tidbit to ourselves. Just between us. I think it would be better that way.
Of course, I wasn't the only cavorter with the showgirls. They were just one stop on day-long Diamond Dash contest that our distributors participated in.
The Diamond Dash
The Diamond Dash is based on the TV reality show, "The Great Race." We divided our distributors into teams of four, and gave them a clue to locate their first checkpoint station. Once they had arrived at their first checkpoint, they would receive a clue to their next checkpoint, and so on, up and down the Las Vegas strip, in and out of some of its most famous casinos and landmarks.
Here's how it went:
- STATION 1--THE CHOCOLATE RIVER: Located in the Bellagio, this is a flume of liquid chocolates that pour from ceiling level down a series of falls to floor-level. Here, a Liberace impersonator greeted teams and gave them next clue.
- STATION 2--THE FALL OF ATLANTIS SHOW: In to Caesar's Palace teams ventured next, where a man in full Roman Centurion garb handed out clues in front of the Fall of Atlantis Show, where an animatronic prince and princess battle to rule the fabled city. With fire. And a giant pterodactyl-looking thing.
- STATION 3--PLANET HOLLYWOOD RESTAURANT: Also located in Caesar's Palace, teams who checked in here got a pleasant surprise: food. Mmmmm. Neways reserved the entire second floor of the restaurant, and distributors got to take a 15-minute break to refuel. Fresh veggies, cheese and crackers, a spinach dip with chips, meatballs in smoky barbeque sauce, and batter-dipped chicken strips helped everyone prep for the next leg of the journey. (I must note that Planet Hollywood, which is filled with Hollywood memorabilia, had hung a life-sized, crouched, naked Sylvester Stallone statue from the ceiling right next to the buffet. I'm not sure which movie that scene is from, but it didn't do much for my appetite. I did, however, notice that the ladies were snapping several pictures with Sly and giggling a lot.)
- STATION 4--SECRET GARDEN AND DOLPHIN HABITAT: At the Mirage, Sigfried and Roy have put together a lovely tiger and dolphin exhibit. Tigers and dolphins in the same cage, you ask? That's a recipe for disaster. Fortunately, Sigfried and Roy know how to do things right. (Well, except for that nasty mishap a while back with Roy and the bitey tiger.) Dolphins swam in a tank, which you could view from above or in observatories beneath. Trainers brought the dolphins close. Distributors and I were standing three feet from one who squeaked and clicked. I don't speak dolphin, but roughly translated, I believe the creature said: "Pardon me, sir, but do you have a spare sardine?" Also on display were several white tigers, leopards, black panthers, and seven tiger cubs. We got to see two of the fully grown tigers growl at each other in a standoff. Incidentally, an Elvis impersonator handed out clues and tickets at this station; sadly, no one got into a standoff with him.
- STATION 5--GONDOLA RIDE: The Venetian Hotel, much like the city of Venice that it is patterned after, has a canal that flows through it. And by this canal stood a marble statue of a Renaissance-era Venetian man. Distributors who approached this statue soon discovered that it blinks. And moves. And hands out clues and tickets. Ignoring the fact that I've seen several horror movies with statues like this, it was kind of cool. Teams arriving at this checkpoint got to ride a gondola through the canal, while the gondolianer (oarsman) sang operatic tunes.
- STATION 6--EIFFEL TOWER: The finish line for this epic, five-to-six-hour Distributor Dash was in the Paris Hotel, where teams met two Vegas showgirls at their last checkpoint. The showgirls were dressed in sleek, silver dresses, while their white, feather headpieces filled the air above them like a canopy. The girls smiled for about three straight hours as group after group of distributors arrived and had their pictures taken with them. I smiled for about three straight hours after I had my picture taken with them. I'm just goofy that way. After a brief photo-op with the showgirls, teams got to ride the elevator to the observation deck on top of the half-scale Eiffel Tower that sprouts up from the hotel. The views of Vegas were spectacular and it was a perfect way to end the Dash.
Along the way, I spoke to our distributors to discover what they thought of the day:
"We're enjoying the journey," said Chele and Godfrey Tindall of Australia. "We loved the dolphins and tigers. It's been fantastic. This whole thing really is a great way to see Vegas. We were planning to do this anyway, but Neways had it taken care of, and we saw so much more than we might have otherwise."
Tadahiro Sudou of Japan said, "This is so much fun. I've enjoyed everything, and this has been the best way to experience Las Vegas."
Emilia Millikan of Australia, but who grew up her first 10 years in Italy, liked Caesar's Palace. "The Roman architectural details reminded me of home," she said.
So, that's my report for the first half of the day. But there is much more to come. In my next post, you'll discover who won the Diamond Dash, which distributor found a strange man sleeping in her bed, and who rocked the stage at karaoke night. Until then, ciao.
Next stop: Recap of Tuesday Night's Banquet and Karaoke
